Capitalist Painter/ Socialist Painter

A Capitalist and a Socialist died at the same time and went to heaven. Saint Peter saw on their earth records that they were both painting contractors. Saint Peter was glad because the Pearly Gates needed a paint job. He asked them both for a bid.

The Capitalist walked around the gates....made a few notes and said,"I'll do the job for 50 grand and sub out 20 angels to do work with me."

Saint Peter grimaced and said,"That sounds a little high."

The Socialist was busy making notes and calculating the work. After about an hour of waiting...the Socialist gave his bid for $30,000.00 and told Saint Peter he would hire 40 angels.

Saint Peter was astonished at the difference and frowned at the Capitalist. Being a man of heart....Saint Peter decided to give them both the job for half their bids. He had the Capitalist do the right gate and the Socialist do the left gate.

A few weeks later, both gates were finished.......the Painters handed Saint Peter the bills.

Saint Peter handed the Capitalist Painter a check for 25 grand. The Capitalist gave him a receipt...walked away and stood in front of the right gate that he and the angels painted. He wrote out each waiting angel a $1000.00 check.

Saint Peter smiled and handed the Socialist Painter a check for 15 grand.

The Socialist then handed Saint Peter a list of costs and told him that these needed to be taken care of too.

Saint Peter looked down the list:

Union Fees.................$11,150.00 (UGP...United Gate Painters)

Angel Insurance Plan..$28,400.00 ( No Deductable)

Angel Leave Plan........$ 6,800.00 (For depressed angels who needed time off)

Angel HSS Costs.........$12,900.00 (Heavenly Social Security)

Paint Committee..........$26,850.00 (Made up of only the top angels of course)

Lunches......................$ 3,840.00 (Committee meetings at Le Club by Le Gates)

Angel Wages.............. $......400.00 ($10.00 X 40)

Saint Peter was furious...he shouted,"I gave you 15 thousand dollars to paint that gate....what the hell is this?"

The Socialist Painter answered,"15 Thousand dollars was my fee...I am sorry...but the Heaven Populous...must be socially responsible for the poor working angels.....and ...oh yes....I forgot License Fees...I'll just tack it on to the next job."

Saint Peter grumbled....bowed and waved the Socialist Painter...gracefully through the left gate.

He looked at the Capitalist Painter with a frown and said,"What the hell are you grinning about?"

The Capitalist Painter leaned against the right gate and asked,"Can I go in to heaven too?"

Saint peter grinned and said,"Yes my brother...but be sure to go in the right gate.....the left one goes to Cleveland.....and if he comes back through...he'll be painting in Stalingrad .....forever!