Dorothy's Boyfriend
67By Cris Advincula
A strange story inspired by Cris A.
Dorothy's secret boyfriend, Dick is commenting on their situation after smoking a plant they found in a Kansas field.
Dick is very mellow and all things seem to be profoundly intense as he observes out the window.
Dick says,"Dorothy....hey...wake up, I think we are flying...hey...cow...can cows fly...hahahaha..I love cows...they can moo and chew....hey, WOW.....a cow train....moo choo.
Come on Dorothy...wake up...your're missing it all, a witch just went by...I think is was one of my step moms.....you know, the one with a big nose and little boobs...that reminds me...why does Toto get to sleep on your boob...I barely touched it last month and you twisted my arm behind my back and growled,"NO TOUCHING UNTIL WE ARE BETROTHED!...
Hey...cool...I just saw a straw man fly by....clouds....oh yeah... can see the tops of the clouds...there's a lion...a guy in a tin suit......little people and a yellow road.....bwaaaaah...somebody peed all over the road..... Dorothy!
Dorothy...you look so hot while you're sleeping...wow....flying monkeys...cool...old guy in a balloon...!
Dick hears a knock at Dorothy's bedroom door and scurries under the bed!
Dorothy's Aunt Emily walks in and shakes Dorothy to wake her. Dorothy springs up in bed and cries,"Aunty Em, Aunty Em......I've been to the most wonderful place ever....Dick was there...there was a tin man Dick, a lion Dick....a straw man Dick....a wizard Dick...oh Aunty Em....Dick was in a balloon.....Dick was everywhere!"
Aunty Em looked at Dorothy's bedside table and saw a smoldering pipe and a little pile of weed...she asked with a stern tone,"Have you been smoking?"
With Toto slumped in her arms from a contact high...she said,"Yes...and...I went to the land of Dick.....I have a confession Aunty Em....I've been seeing Dick for a long time....I think I love Dick!"
(Meanwhile...Dick is under the bed with a large grin...munching on some imaginary snacks.)
Aunty Em says softly,"My child...my child...you are growing up so fast...I had no idea you knew of such things....hmmmm....smoking that weed made you dream of Dick?"
Dorothy, with excitement said,"Oh yes Aunty Em.....nothing but Dick, Dick Dick!"
Aunty Em reached and picked up the pipe....filled it from the little pile of weed...lit the pipe and sat on the edge of the bed. She puffed and puffed and puffed.
After a few moments...Aunty Em said with a very mellow voice,"Well Dorothy...I don't see any Dick but I'm sure glad that I just baked those cookies!"
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lol...Loved it--and it was the perfect story for Cris A.'s pic! :)
Well, I am pretty sure we are not in Kansas anymore...Dorothy and friends smoking the wildwood weed...what a great time to lookin' for the Wizard! LOL! Tom, you're a bad, bad boy! LOL! Up and funny! WB
Morning Tom.
Had a nice big smile on my face the whole read.
Glad that Aunty Em had her cookies and Dorothy got her Dick. Love story??? lol.
Take care.
LOL Ghaelach
Tom...loved this. Thanks for the laugh.
Tom, I'm still chuckling at the thought of staid, proper Auntie Em stoned out of her gourd with a roaring case of the Munchies. Perhaps J. Frank Baum was stoned when he wrote the story? And is it **coincidence** that he called the little people "MUNCHkins". Wouldn't that just knock the "Wizard of Oz" book AND movie right out of the "family" category in a New York minute! tee hee ;D
"Dorothy and her erotic adventures in the land of Oz"
A bit different from the original Baum work, but don't give me any ideas it would be a fun and weird twist to a familiar story. Thanks Tom, Cred2
If anyone could write that "fun and weird twist", it'd be you, Tom. I'm sure Cris A. wouldn't mind throwing in a few thoughts, too. Not sure how you'd make it clean enough for HP, though...but therein lies HALF the fun. You DID depict squeaky-clean Dorothy as a pot head and got away with it... ;D
Hi Jama...."ditch weed"....I think you might have just named the band I'm forming. :o)
Thanks Wayne...from one bad boy to another. :o)
Thanks Nancy.....glad to make you laugh :o)
Jama.....MUNCHkins....LOLOLOL! :o)
Thanks Credence....erotic OZ...that would be so cool. :o)
Dorothy was squeaky clean but I had my suspicions about that her and that straw guy...he was a bit too smiley for me. :o)
If I may expand on the new band name, I'm partial to "Ditch Weed - featuring the MUNCHkins". Just TRY to remember to play a set every now and then between "breaks" in the parking lot... ;D
Jama....LOL...I ran "Ditch Weed" past the guys and they liked it except they're afraid we might get called "Dick Weeds." :o)
I dunno... "Dick Weeds" is kinda catchy. Since little kids might be reading this, I can't describe here the graphics on the poster such a band name brings to mind... lol!
Jama....LOL...maybe four bald monks dressed in peach onezies? :o)
You got it! (Was there any doubt you would??) ;D
JamaGenee Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago
Tom, I will never watch the Wizard of Oz again without looking for that pipe on Dorothy's bedside table and Dick under the bed! You obviously haven't smoked much Kansas "ditch weed", but I love the premise of the hub anyway! ;D